How to handle sex hormones

Funmi Akingbade

One of the many ways to channel the sex hormones in both man and woman is for couples to rediscover passionate kissing. Married couples are meant to enjoy the touch and taste of each other’s lips. The burning sensation is terrific especially if you eat some form of mint before kissing or drink some minty drinks. After having sex stay in each other’s arms delight in the closeness you get; tell your spouse how good it feels and how much you love him or her. When couples take time to laze around in the afterglow of sex, it is one of the most intimate things that bind together.

Mates sex hormones are well channelled when spouses become scholars of each other’s sexual zones. Several parts of the body have been discovered to be erogenous zones, especially the nipples, breasts, earlobes, groins, penis and scrotum of the man, the woman’s vulva, clitoris, ‘G spot’. Even if no other places responded to your touches, these ones are ever-ready-to-stimulation-sure-spots. A wife has more erogenous zones that just her breasts and vagina. Husbands can explore with their wives, and discover where they are most responsive. Kiss, stroke, or caress each body part. Ask: “How does this feel? Does it make you tingle? What would make you feel even ‘tinglier’ – if I caressed less or more?” Remember that although it is good to work toward climax, the journey (which is the foreplay) unbelievable climatic, and highly rewarding.

It is very paramount for husbands to recognise and appreciate a wife’s definition of satisfaction. “I don’t get it, “a husband told me in my office. “ I do everything I can think of in bed, but my wife doesn’t usually have an orgasm.” “Does that bother your wife?” I asked? “No. She seems contented. I don’t get that either.” “That’s because many women are still satisfied with sex, even when they don’t have an orgasm.” This husband stared blankly at me. “Huh?” Husbands, if you want to satisfy your wife, shift your definition of satisfaction. Of course, wives love to climax (who does not?), but they can enjoy the lovemaking experience even when they do not reach that place. Many women enjoy the sensuality of cuddling, talking, kissing, and touching every bit as much as they enjoy the thrill of a climax. Women’s sexual pleasure occurs on many levels other than simply orgasm.

At this point, I would also want husbands to know, admit, and value their sexual peaks. Most men reach their sexual peak in their late twenties or early thirties. This however does not mean than they are not potent at any age; infact science has it that at 70 years upwards, 70 per cent of men are still very potent. Most women reach theirs a decade or more later. Often when a woman is in her forties and fifties, her sexual desire becomes stronger, sometimes insatiable, especially when she is not in her child bearing age. Moreover, as a man ages, his emotional side increases. This explain why many older husbands spend more time in foreplay and romance. When couples channel their sex hormones properly, they will, through each stage, grow and learn more about each other and become more patient and sensitive to each other’s needs. This allows a couple’s sex life greater longevity and duration.

Until couples recognise the different kinds of sex, they could waste their sex hormones. Mistakenly, couples feel the pressure to have a “perfect” sex – complete with earthquake, fireworks and multiple orgasms. But it is not every time you have sex that there will be an “earthquake;”as long as you are both connecting, that is perfect sex. Sometimes, sex will be a quickie to meet the need of the moment. Sometimes, it could be functional sex, or just sex. Sometimes, when you are not in the mood, you could have it simply because your spouse needs you at that moment. Sometimes, it may be comfort sex, the type you can find is in the arms of your spouse as a friend and lover. You will be channelling the sex hormones rightly when you understand that the different kinds of sex point to the ultimate reason for sex: promoting the bond of oneness in the relationship. The goal is not whether you end with a climax. The goal is that you are connecting as a couple. If you think you are going to have a quickie and your spouse is expecting a long, passionate encounter, both of you will probably end up frustrated. So therefore clarify your expectations. Women need to prepare mentally for sex. If a wife knows she is headed for quickie sex, she can mentally prepare for that, including the realisation that she may not climax.

Keep practising enthusiastically! Sex stirs the craving for more sex. Lovemaking elevates the brain chemicals associated with desire. Therefore, as couples decide to have sex and find they enjoy their time of lovemaking, their libidos increase. This often leads to an increased yearning to have sex more often. And of cause this helps to fight weak, quick, and premature ejaculation. What could be more fun and exciting than that? See you next week.