Tuesday, May 27, 2014

What Makes Sex So Sacred?


In an era where discourse about sexuality is discouraged especially amongst young minds, due to the belief that the subject topic is sacred, all I can say is..."I do not know how sacred sex is but hey! look at those two dogs engage in a sacred act!"

When I was a teenager, a had a friend of the opposite sex. Being a little older than I am, I knew Ibukun has had many sexual experiences considering the way he talks as if he knows all the women in the world. Meeting him and getting to know him opened my eyes to some of the things I never got to know from anyone since I was born. This was due to the fact that, the home I come from, you dare not open your mouth and talk about sex or even the human reproductive organs except you are ready to be skinned alive.

With the little I got to know from him, the next afternoon, after school and chores, I was eager to talk about it with my female friend, who is also the daughter of our next door neighbour. Bridget, who was my only close friend as at that time is a Hausa girl who, like Ibukun was also in the know about sexual stuffs. So I was eager to let her know that I now have an idea what sex is and how the male and female reproductive organs work.
A little taken aback, Bridget sat down listening to what I had to say but I didn't say much before I realised my mum has been listening! I kept quiet but it was obviously too late already.....I smelt my abdomen that night.

What does "sacred" mean? It is something connected with God (or gods), holy or dedicated to a religious purpose and so deserving great veneration (great respect). Now, let us break this meaning down and try to associate it with the word "sex". Yes, sex is connected with God because it was God's idea at the beginning. God created sex.
Secondly,..that sex deserves great respect is acceptable to me, because when unmarried adults do it, it is immoral; So the respect that sex deserves is for it to be done in the confines of the lifetime commitment called marriage.

And finally, that sex is holy, and dedicated for a religious purpose...is what I am against which brings me to the question:" is sex really sacred?"

The main essence of sex is for procreation.There is nothing more natural, basic or mundane than the biological desire for a man to look at a naked woman; now tell me,what is holy in that? What is so sacred in that that cannot be talked about? We have concealed so many truths about sex to the point that it is now the abberated, diluted and the overrated version that young
minds get to see and hear from the media, hence, the high rate in sexually transmitted diseases, early pregnancy and the likes.

This generation of ours has unhealthily misrepresented sexuality to the point that makes the subject topic too heavy, too laden with guilt and disconnected from reality. While few mothers think children should be told about sex at a tender age, quite many are of the opinions that allowing the child to come of age is better. As for me, I think whether you choose to talk to your
child at a tender age or otherwise really depends on so many things like the environment you are in, the child's maturity level and so on which all vary from one child to another.

Also, the manner of approach and presentation is key. When you talk to a child about things he/she must not do instead of what he/she needs to do; Don't you think this generic approach can yield negative results making the child want to try what he/she was told not to do?

Is sex scared? No! Why? Because no one can explain what sacred means and apply it to sex. Should we treat sex with respect? Yes. Should we because of the respect now make sex a big issue in front of the younger generation? Absolute No! why? Because they need to learn about it from appropriate places so that they can get to know the real truth about sex!

Are there better ways to teach young people about sex in a balanced way? Do you think sex is something that should not be talked about? Did your parents/guardians take time out to describe sex to you in an educational way?
-by Adams Odunayo

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