This letter is 100% real, from the heart, and I really need you to tell me what to do next because I’m at the end of my rope.
I’ve started dating a coworker about five years ago. We’re both married. He is the first and only man I’ve ever cheated with and will never again for the rest of my life deal with a married man, or cheat on my husband, EVER!
At first, I felt so guilty because we were just friends. But, to be honest, I had so many problems in my marriage that at the time we crossed the line and became more than friends it just seemed a lot easier to start sleeping with him than actually work on my relationship.
All was fine and good at first. He showered me with affection, attention, time, gifts and the best sex I’ve ever had. Then his calls and emails started becoming less and less. I knew he was seeing other women and I suspected they worked with us too although he never admitted it. I couldn’t take seeing him at work every day so I changed jobs, but we continued seeing each other every chance we could, for a while.
But, sure enough I started not hearing from him for days and weeks at a time. I was now the other woman to his other women. Fed up, I’d repeatedly try to break it off. And, I mean that I’ve tried to break up with him more than 10 times, but he always comes back, we sleep together, and then I feel like an idiot again.
The final straw for me was realizing that he’s seeing other women and telling me the same lies I heard him tell his wife when we worked together.
He used to tell me he loved me and wanted to be with me, and how beautiful I was. But, when I looked on Facebook there are all these pictures of him and his wife and his wife’s family all out on vacations, hugging and smiling, and looking all happily ever after and lovey-dovey. I even told him I would leave my husband for him, but he obviously does not want that. I guess he just wanted the sex.
I was so blinded by love that his wife found out about me, but he called her on his cell phone when we were together one day and I actually lied and told her that I was not sleeping with him and we were only friends. It was all lies.
Well, I just broke it off with him again and told him that I never wanted to see him again or talk to him, and this time I meant it. What happens? After three days of breaking it off with him for good, I get an email from him saying he just wanted to say hi, which I believe is really him fishing for sex because that’s his method of operation. He emails to say hi, says he misses me, we meet for lunch, then we sleep together and I don’t hear from him again for weeks, until he wants it again.
I can’t take it anymore and feel like I will have an emotional breakdown if I don’t get off this rollercoaster ride. So, I’ve decided to confess and tell his wife everything hoping this will finally get him out of my life once and for all. I looked up her email address online and I’m ready to confess the truth.
But, the kicker is I’m not ready to tell my husband anything and hope he never finds out about my affair. Am I wrong for doing this?