Ask Naij: I’m 22 & Dating My Father’s Friend Who Is A Muslim And A Father Of 6 Kids

I’m 22-years old, in University, no kids, and I work 2 jobs and I have my own place.

I am very independent. I normally don’t get into relationships because of trust issues. So, I’d rather have friends with benefits. But, I recently started talking to this older guy. He’s friends with my dad and everybody knows everybody where I’m from.

Well, I had my eye on him. I already knew some background info, but as much as I thought I knew. He’s 30-years old, has 6 kids, and has been with the same girl for 10 years. They’re Muslim—so you know what that means. In their religion when the woman garbs up she’s married. (I never seen him with a ring). They live together too, and her family lives within walking distance from me. I’ve heard different stories about him and her, but I want to be hardheaded and learn the hard way.

I already knew what I was getting into. I just didn’t know it would get as deep as it is now. We’ve been warned to keep apart, but it’s hard. We are so attracted to each other. He’s a good guy. He works and takes care of his kids, as well as me. I have bills in his name. He picks me up from work, pays for everything, and he always stays over at my house on the nights and days he doesn’t work. Sometimes my conscious kicks in and I feel bad, but I keep telling myself, “It’s not my problem. We’re just having fun.”

I know it’s wrong, but it feels so right. I can’t get what he gives me from guys my age. But, we’re falling for each other. He worse than I. He’s very jealous. (It’s more than sex). I do like the attention. I can’t complain, but I don’t want us to get caught. This man calls me from his house phone and drives me around in his car. He’s made it clear to the other guys that we deal with each other.

I know this will blow up in my face soon and very soon. Although he denies a relationship with his baby mom. He keeps saying he is in a bad relationship/situation. I got a feeling that if he gets out, it will be my fault. I don’t think I want to ruin a happy home nor become a scapegoat. But, I know he won’t leave her. It’s cheaper to keep her. If things do work out, I’ll lose him the same what I got him — At the hands of another woman. I want to leave him alone, but I can’t and no one knows the extent of our “relationship” or how serious we are. I want more, but I’m scared. What should I do?